It was 2014.
I was living in Ottawa, and had just moved into a tiny studio apartment in a hundred-year-old building rumoured to be haunted. It turned out that the only thing it was haunted by was wildlife.
A chipmunk chewed through my 5th floor window screen to break into a box of After Eight chocolate mints. A mouse snuck in through the dishwasher and I thought it might be living in my Christmas tree. A bat terrorized the hallway for hours, and one fell asleep in the windshield well of my car and flew away into the snow.
Sometimes I think that building forced me to write children’s books. It was so full of stories and it was one of my favourite places I’ve ever lived in.
In September 2014, I was just about to turn 40.
I sat in front of my laptop wondering if I should register for a course that was going to cost me around $600. I had been looking at this course, Writing for Children, for weeks, but I just couldn’t decide. It was a lot of money for an online course.
Was it worth it? I wondered. But mostly I wondered if I was serious, or if it was the whim of someone in the midst of a midlife crisis. Would I even finish the course? Would I do the homework? Was I fooling myself?
I couldn’t decide. So I left it and went to New Orleans with my friends to celebrate my turning 40.
We did all the touristy things. We went to the French quarter, listened to jazz, ate the beignets and the oysters, and we even saw a wedding party dancing in the streets. The pictures from that trip look fun. And we did have fun. But I hid the fact that an internal struggle had been brewing: how would I live the second half of my life.
When I came home from that trip, though, I decided I was just gonna go for it. It kinda felt a little like now or never. The course had already started, so I had to email them to get permission to register. They would ask the instructor, they said. Thankfully, the instructor, Alice Kuipers, said yes.
I wrote the very first draft of Gwendolyn and the Light in that class. It was my final picture book project, called Gwendolyn and Coco’s Sea Adventure.
Those were actually the names of cats I wanted to have someday. Anyway, Gwendolyn was a skunk. And Coco was a very forgetful hamster.
In that version, Gwen lived in the town of Forget-Me-Not (also the actual name of the cafe I’m writing this in!) There was a map maker, Mr. Redberry. Coco was lost because he couldn’t remember his home address. They go to the Antarctic. Penguins and a pocket watch were involved.
It was a mess, but in that class Alice encouraged me to keep going with it.
And going I did, for ten years.
Of course, I didn't work on it for actual ten years. I gave up on it many many times over the years while I worked on other stories.
Life went on.
In 2018, I moved back to Toronto after living in Ottawa for 22 years.
Then in late 2019, I went to a book launch for Pokko and the Drum by Matthew Forsythe. I had not heard of him then, but there was a pretty poster of his illustration on the door of Type Books that I immediately loved.
It was a lovely launch. I ate a pile of cookies, drank wine, and chatted with Matt who was super personable. When I got home that night and read the book, I was charmed by Pokko. And there was something about her confidence that made me think of Gwendolyn.
The very next day, I started woking on Gwendolyn again. It had been two years.
In early 2020, I began the “home stretch” for Gwendolyn. I revised it and sent it to Matt, who had kindly agreed to review it. He gave me great notes but the most significant one that changed what the book would become was his suggestion to leave the nocturnal creature open to the imagination of the illustrator, instead of specifying that she was a skunk.
And when I first saw Audrey’s sketches of Gwen, I knew Audrey’s Gwen was so much more perfect than any other specific animal I could have thought of.
I sent that version to Ammi-Joan Paquette in June 2020, who was not yet my agent but we had been going back and forth on a couple of stories. When I saw her notes though, I almost died — because she asked the dreaded, “what’s the story about at its core?”
You know when you think you’ve solved all the issues in a story, and the same basic question comes back from a reader — and not just any reader— someone who is not only one of the best agents out there, but also someone whom I know shares my sensibilities. It took a week to recover from the disappointment, but with that question, I spent the next six months revising it, the most significant change happening in the opening spreads.
In January 2021, I sent the new version to Joan. In April 2021, she officially became my agent, and in August 2021 the story was acquired by Abrams.
In the ten years, the story has gone through a lot. And even though I get credit as the author, many kindred souls made the book what it is today.
My biggest thank yous to: my instructor Alice, my friends Katherine, Matt, Aram, Andi, my former critique group Mary, Jennifer, Patti, my sister Esther, my daughter Maria, my agent Joan, my editor Courtney and the team at Abrams, and Audrey.
Gwendolyn and the Light, written by me and illustrated by the amazing Audrey Helen Weber is out in the world on October 8, 2024. You can pre-order now from where you usually buy your books!
If you’re in Toronto, come celebrate with me and Audrey on Thursday, October 10, 7:30 pm at the Theatre Centre Cafe, located at 1115 Queen Street West.
We are lucky to have the launch presented by Toronto Lit Up and the Toronto International Festival of Authors, and generously supported by the Theatre Centre.
Come and see what ten years can make.
xo
I just pre-ordered your book from Mabel's Fables, Susan!
Ohemgee, huge huge huge congratulations Susan! I can’t wait to read this book, and hooray for Matt and Joan and all the folks along the way, but celebrate you, because it’s your incredible talent and imagination that made this wonderful book for readers everywhere. So so so very happy for you!!